Josh Heit's blog


Saturday, September 20, 2003

All hail Google!: One of my fun timewasters is to punch in names of friends into Google and see what pops up. Today's version led me to the AU webring of Xanga, which led me to this, one of the funniest things I've ever read. (Content warning: Non-AU people may want to skip this, as it won't make an ounce of sense to y'all.)

If the Universe was run like the General Assembly:

And God said 'Let There Be Light' and there was light, and it was good.

But Tim Meyer raised an objection to the CPRB that God, in his Holiness, did not follow proper proceedure, and even though we all knew that Light was going to be had regardless, it was important to follow proceedure with this sort of thing.

Garcia seconded, and proceeded to question God's authority to just "declare" light, and wanted to know who else had been consulted.

Vassoli agreed, and immediately began posting negative comments on, using Star Wars refrences, while advertising how he was going to... finally... get laid.

Downey disagreed with the whole thing, but was promptly flicked off by Meyer, who tried to attack her with a Bible.

Will Mount rose to protest... again... but was cut off when Constantino started pelting him with wrenches.

Ramirez tried to employ fifteen motions at once which would entail fifty different results, and was subsequently slain my a well placed gavel from Dodd.

Bradbury proxied out, deploying Graham in his place, who was soon eaten by the outgoing Comptroller.

Valdez wandered in midway through, but thought he was in the wrong place, and left again.

Stanton dove in front of God to protect Him, and was elevated to Heaven.

Berg, by contrast, was banished to Hell.

God finally threw up His hands, said 'screw it' and left them all in the dark while leaving to go talk to Gail Hanson, who had all the real power anyway.


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