Josh Heit's blog


Saturday, December 06, 2003

Reality Roundup: First things first. I refuse to watch The Simple Life. I've missed all but the first half hour of Average Joe (It took her this long to kick off Zach? I wanted to see him gone in the first ten minutes).

Joe Millionaire 2: Shudder. It didn't sound like a bad idea. Annoying, dumb European women and another dumb, clueless Joe. And yet the execution could NOT have been worse. David was dumber than Evan (hard to do, I know). At least he was kind of endearing doing it. The freaking horse was the best character (or maybe that's just the version of Hurricane in the TwoP recaps. And the ending couldn't have been more telegraphed if they had tried. But more on that later.

But let's talk about the blatant bait-and-switch. This angered me more than anything. First, Linda wimps out from the pressure of the other girls and asks to go home. David, who clearly loves her, obliges anyway. Weak on both their parts, but fine, you lose. But....NOOOOOOOOO. Producers have to go and blatantly say that David can bring someone back, which will OBVIOUSLY be Linda. What a horrible twisting of the rules. I actually kind of liked Linda, and not just because she was the odds-on favorite from about ten minutes in. She was the only one who seemed kind of decent. But because of her own stupidity ("I want to go home") plus what amount to rigging the game on the part of the editors, I really can't.

Now let's talk about editors telegraphing the ending. Now, I missed significant portions of this show (which is probably a good thing, considering the suckitude), but when I caught a little bit, it was kind of obvious by the editing who was going far. Surprise me a little bit, editors! (See: Season 1, overexposure of MoJo, only to have finish fourth). I mean, it might be that I've become overly accustomed to picking up editing trends and tricks, but I think it might be that the editors just sucked. You may not remember that I picked Evan to take Zora on January 28th for a February 17th finale. Not bad, and I wasn't always so sure.

After doing a quick Google search, my hunch isn't so sure. And I've searched TwoP for about 20 minutes, so I'm just going to present in to the readers. In the opening sequence, one woman says something to the effect of "My last name means poor, but I'm sure it won't be like that anymore." I felt this was a sure editing tell, and I was pretty sure (from memory) that this was Linda. However, the few places that have this quote say Karolina. Can someone confirm? Preferably with tape evidence? Regardless, there were enough editing clues (and just regular interaction that editing really couldn't hide) that pointed to a Linda over Cat ending.

On to Survivor: Pearl Islands. Without the burden of spoiling and knowing what will happen, this season has actually been kinda fun! Enough goofy characters to laugh at, and enough idiots to yell at. The outcast twist was certainly interesting, but I'm kind of surprised that everyone's ignored this fact in jury calculation. Sandra thinks that everyone loves Lill, and so would lose to her. She's an outcast! Point out that it's not fair that someone who lost wins the whole thing, and you've got a shot! Of course, Sandra's been playing the entire game with her head up her ass, so I'm shocked she's still in the final five. I really wanted her to go instead of Christa, who had her Neleh relevation on Day 31. (For those unfamiliar, Neleh didn't "start playing the game" until the overturn of the Rotu 4, in Marquesas Episode 8, Day 23. Constantly mentioning this in the final 2 probably cost her the game. Oh wait, no that's because John was an egotistical ass who Neleh wouldn't apologize to for his ouster. Ugh. What a horrible season. Unlikable people, a disgusting final 2, a UTR winner that the audience STILL doesn't know how she won, and idiocy all around. And that awful, awful reunion hosted by Rosie O'Donnell. Shudder. Africa was a better season than Marquesas. Thailand might have been. This one definitely is. People who put S4 over S1 and S2 are clearly delusional. Yikes...that was a digression.)

So now we're left with Burton, Lill, Jon, Darrah, and Sandra. The previews are promising a Lill-Darrah-Sandra alliance, which I highly doubt because they're hyping it. Lill seems to be getting a clue, and Darrah of all people is making an immunity run (not that it's unprecedented, see also: Kelly Wiglesworth, S1. Of course, if you're going to have an immunity challenge with firearms, I'll take the Tennessean over a couple of Californians, a Washingtonian (state), and an Ohioan. And Jon, who's technically from the South (NC), but the odds of him winning an immunity challenge are pretty moot. (As Sandra said in one her few amusing moments, "Jon's like a girl" in immunity challenges.) Yes, it's a stereotype (the South and guns, not Jon like a girl), but hey, it worked!

So right now, Jon seems to have control. He hasn't yet been busted by the constant lying (see also: Brandon Quinton, S3, when Samburu took a ridiculously dumb move by Lex and Boran to bring a 6-4 Boran lead to 4-4, with previous votes in SAMBURU'S FAVOR, and booted Brandon 6-2, and were promptly picked off 1 by 1 by Boran. Yes, Africa was also one dumb move after another, but at least the people were likable and entertaining. I stand by my earlier point. Because when it comes down to it, most of the middle-game is determined by dumb moves by one group or another. In Survivor 1, it was the lack of thinking about alliances, and Sean K.'s alphabet strategy -- except for Ramona and Dirk, who were gone pre-merge, every Pagong was in alphabetical order before every Tagi. In Survivor 2, it was Kimmi blabbing about Jeff V.'s vote and Jeff jumping off in the immunity challenge. S3: The Older Samburu Alliance screwing over the younger at the twist, followed by Boran giving the lead back, including Brandon's odd switch to Boran after Kelly's switch to Samburu, and then the booting of Brandon. Winning tribes screw up, too: Okagor takes out Kel before Maralyn or Mitchell -- if Jerri had gotten her way, it would have Keith instead of Maralyn, too -- but recovers to tie and takes it from there. S4, Maraamu might have been the dumbest, losingest tribe in history -- Morgan was close, but it's still Maraamu -- and one of their members, Vecepia, won! Can we end this disgression? I forgot where I was in THIS season). I still feel as though the Burton-Lill outcast thing will come into play at the final vote. The only way it won't is if they're both there. Burton's best play is to secure a top 2 promise from both of them and throw the final immunity, a la Hatch. I think Burton and Jon can both beat Lill, with the right final 2 answers. It's an interesting endgame.

For the record, I'm rooting for Darrah. Yes, she's been UTR, yes, she's the last of her tribe, but, dang it, she's actually kind of likable. And cute. (Yes, that counts.) Burton's played the game well in the outcast role, and while Jon's annoying, he's aware that it's a game (Any reality show contestant who says the word "integrity" immediately earns my ire). Lill's been a sheep, and Sandra's absolutely clueless. If I do more Survivor posting, I'll try to do a jury analysis next week.


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