Josh Heit's blog

     

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

 
AMERICA'S FUTURE ROCKS TODAY!:

Dripping with sarcasm. The Post probably has the best coverage, putting the highlight of the night right out front. But that was simply an exercise in brainwashing teeny-boppers. MTV, eat your freaking heart out.

(The rest of this post is adapted from my response to the news article on the event on FARK.com.)

Huge event, with a giant service tent with all the major volunteer organizations (which is what the event really was, a giant brainwashing event to get kids to volunteer). Mike G., Makenna and I all commented that we felt really old (plus Mike I. [CR Prez], and Faith, and these two random people we were next to who were actually our age), because it was all 12-16 year olds who I think are going to be in the inaugural parade, so this is their party. Also, possibly children of large donors, but I couldn't substantiate that. The tent was also full of video games, and at one point they played Snoop's "Drop it Like It's Hot". Unedited. That was amusing.

There's a cover band out there when we walk into the Armory, Boxkar, playing a decent cover of Sting/The Police's "Sending out an S.O.S." Not like any of those kids remember that. So the concert starts with some guy singing "AMERICA'S FUTURE ROCKS TODAY!" Over and over. And then the C-list celebs introduce people on the video screen who've done good things, reading straight from the teleprompter directly behind us. Nice. It's all Nancy O'Dell and Jason frickin' Sehorn. Then Ruben sings and sweats. Then more C-list celeb fun. Then Fuel comes out, and as the story says, there's an F-bomb. The 8 of us over 18 in the place start cracking up, considering we're surrounded by 12-year olds. I think most of them missed it. But anyway, that was the highlight of the night. One of my friends who was volunteering at the event with the press said Barbara's jaw dropped when it happened, which makes sense, because she knows what kind of press theat would get.

Baldwin got a HUGE cheer. I know, kind of amazing. I'm a Celebrity Mole fan, so I was (embarassingly) in on this. Ryan Cabrera was actually good, especially when he got behind the drum set at the end of "All the Way Down" and was rocking out. I respect that. JoJo was JoJo, with the singing and the dancing, and the breakdancing medley in the middle, including "Can't Touch This", which again, no one in the audience would have actually known.

3 Doors down just rocked, and I'm amazed that the news reports talking about the soldiers' goodbye during "When I'm Gone" don't realize that THAT IS THE VIDEO! Then Duff comes out, and she almost gets nailed by glow sticks a few times, which would have been the funniest thing ever. These two doofuses near us were doing the "We're not worthy" thing, so one of my friends nails THEM with a glowstick. It was funny.

Then the POTUS comes out, and the cameras are flying, and everyone is going nuts. It's the fakest thanks ever, although he wasn't reading from the prompter like everyone else. And then the closing theme, because AMERICA'S FUTURE ROCKS TODAY!

Fun times had by all, with enough snark for the over-18 crowd to make it worth the price of admission.

Pictures: link

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